So me, I’m transgendered. It means that the gender I present in the world is not congruent with the sex that I was assigned at birth; in practical terms, I mostly look like a man but have a body that some would consider physiologically female. Even though I don’t identify as a man (I am a butch, which is its own gender), I am taken for a man about two-thirds of the time. And when I am taken for a man, I am not fat.
As a man, I’m a big dude, but not outside the norm for such things. I am just barely fat enough to shop at what I call The Big Fat Tall Guy Store, and can sometimes find my size in your usual boy-upholstery emporia. Major clothing labels, like Levi Strauss, make nice things in my size, and I am never forced to wear anything that appears to have been manufactured at Mendel the Tentmaker’s House o’ Fashion. (Although those things do exist for men, too. Those terrycloth shirts with the waistbands? Oy.) I can order extra salad dressing or ice cream or anything else in a restaurant and have it arrive without comment; I can eat it in public without anyone taking a bit of notice, even if I am shoving it into my mouth while walking down a crowded street and getting crumbs all over my chest in the process. I can run for a bus or train without anyone making a snide remark.
As a big guy, I’m big enough to make miscreants or troublemakers decide to take their hostility elsewhere. As a woman, I am revolting. I am not only unattractively mannish but also grossly fat. The clothes I can fit into at the local big-girl stores tend to fit around the neck and then get bigger as they go downward, which results in a festive butch-in-a-bag look—all the rage nowhere, ever. No matter how clearly I order a Coke in a restaurant I must be on a diet, and so I get a Diet Coke—usually with a lemon floating in it accusatorily, looking up at me as if to say, “This is as good as it’s going to get, lardass.” Wait staff develop selective amnesia about my side of fries or my request for butter, and G-d help me if I get caught eating (or even shopping) in public as a woman.
when i find myself in times of trouble, remus lupin comes to me speaking words of wisdom
SPREAD THIS SHIT LIKE WILDFIRE BECAUSE IT IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE.
So much fucking respect for this guy.
Ok, he says quite a few problematic things in here: things he should have said (like that it actually IS okay to be fat, and that fat does not automatically equal unhealthy), as well as things he shouldn’t have said. But I do love his bottom line: there is nothing good or productive or helpful or inspirational about insulting me and shaming me for being fat, so FUCKING STOP.
What is it acceptance of? Diabetes? Heart disease?
Size acceptance has proven health benefits.
OMG well prove it then why don’t you!
OMG I will!
Here’s a nifty little study about how size (fat) acceptance when coupled with intuitive eating, has better and longer lasting results than dieting alone. Because you don’t encourage someone to take care of their body by making them hate it. ”The health at every size approach enabled participants to maintain long-term behavior change; the diet approach did not.Encouraging size acceptance, reduction in dieting behavior, and heightened awareness and response to body signalsresulted in improved health risk indicators for obese women.“
This one is about how you can be healthy at any size, because healthy habits make healthy bodies, but healthy habits do not necessarily make thin bodies. “Conclusions: Healthy lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index*.”
*Even though BMI is bullshit, and not an accurate indicator of health.
Basically, it’s okay to be fat. It’s okay to be okay with being fat.
If you think that the only way a person is deserving of respect is if they are ‘healthy’ you’re an ableist jerk. If you think you can accurately gauge someones health by looking at their body you are an ableist jerk.
Having a positive attitude towards your body encourages better mental health, and I think we can both agree that mental health is an important facet of overall health. Loving your body makes you more likely to care for it, because you think your body deserves to be cared for.
Shaming people does nothing to improve well-being.
I’m sure some people who follow this blog have more links to the benefits of size acceptance, and I’m sure you are perfectly capable of doing your own research .
Preach it sister!
From my personal experience, when I hate myself I absolutely give up on my health and appearance because who cares? I’m a piece of shit anyways.
But when I’m making a conscious effort to love myself - which I’ve been trying to do lately, I feel like exercising more. I’m more likely to walk and run and dance when I’m feeling good. When I feel ashamed or bad I want to curl up in my bedsheets and eat junk food.
So yeah, try learning about what you’re attacking before you do so.
This is exactly how is works for a majority of people. When you feel badly about your body, you treat your body badly becauseyou think that’s how it deserves to be treated.
Firstly, I can’t apologize enough for the fact that I used to be a part of the oppression that fat people face daily. I want to thank this blog for opening up my eyes and making me check my privilege.
I am a thin woman, I eat at least 3000 calories of whatever I want every single day (and have done for about 7 years) and exercise very little. Thin privilege is the fact that while I do this, if any fat person admitted to eating as much, heck, 2/3 as much as I do, they would be told that it’s “greedy” and to cut back.
Thin privilege is that I am able to make my food choices solely on what is appetizing to me and not as a result of pressure or of guilt from other people.
Thin privilege is that I can openly talk about how much pleasure I take in eating food without being judged.
Thin privilege is that when people see me eating junk food, they assume that I do so in moderation without knowing squat about my daily eating habits. Yet, when they see a fat person eat the exact same thing it’s apparently clear to them that they must eat junk food all day and this is the reason that they are fat. Thin privilege is people assuming that your eating habits are somehow commendable even though they know nothing about your diet.
Thin privilege is that somehow I am only “allowed” to eat as much as I do because I can “get away with it.” That just because another person’s body reacts differently to food from mine and stores weight more readily, that they shouldn’t be allowed that liberty and deserve to be treated differently.
I can’t fathom why some people don’t think thin privilege exists. I have done nothing to earn the benefits I receive from society. It is a privilege. Thin people, can you actually sit back and think about it before you troll this blog?
But what’s the thing with the HUGE face behind the counter? And why does the worker with the mop have a bucket thing on their head?
GAHHHHH IT’S SO FLIPPIN CUUUUUTE!!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.
It’s like he’s eating his own tummy, but it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE.
Girls and women of the world, could we stop apologizing for wanting and eating food? Because this is one of the most ridiculous things that we do collectively as lady-people, and not only does it annoy the shit out of me personally, but it is also INCREDIBLY SAD. Could we stop feeling “guilty” for wanting an effing brownie? Or a plate of fries? Could we stop actively seeking permission from our friends to go ahead and “be bad” and order the cheesecake? Could we all just go ahead and order whatever it is that we feel like eating, instead of saying, “Oh, I feel like a pig, you guys are just getting salads”?
Because—now I know this will come as a shock—WOMEN EAT. We get hungry. We get hungry for pizzas and Double Stuf Oreos and nachos and ice cream and giant French-toast breakfasts, and you know what? WE DON’T NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT.