“Repeat Rape: How do they get away with it?”, Part 1 of 2. (link to Part 2)
- College Men: Repeat Rape and Multiple Offending Among Undetected Rapists,Lisak and Miller, 2002 [PDF, 12 pages]
- Navy Men: Lisak and Miller’s results were essentially duplicated in an even larger study (2,925 men): Reports of Rape Reperpetration by Newly Enlisted Male Navy Personnel, McWhorter, 2009 [PDF, 16 pages]
By dark-side-of-the-room, who writes:
These infogifs are provided RIGHTS-FREE for noncommercial purposes. Repost them anywhere. In fact, repost them EVERYWHERE. No need to credit. Link to the L&M study if possible.
Knowledge is a seed; sow it.
(compiled by Pamela Haag at BigThink)
- Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.
Oh yes, this is an exquisite word, compressing a thrilling and scary relationship moment. It’s that delicious, cusp-y moment of imminent seduction. Neither of you has mustered the courage to make a move, yet. Hands haven’t been placed on knees; you’ve not kissed. But you’ve both conveyed enough to know that it will happen soon… very soon.
- Yuanfen(Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.From what I glean, in common usage yuanfen means the “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship.
But interestingly, “fate” isn’t the same thing as “destiny.” Even if lovers are fated to find each other they may not end up together. The proverb, “have fate without destiny,” describes couples who meet, but who don’t stay together, for whatever reason. It’s interesting, to distinguish in love between the fated and the destined. Romantic comedies, of course, confound the two.
- Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.
- Retrouvailles (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time. This is such a basic concept, and so familiar to the growing ranks of commuter relationships, or to a relationship of lovers, who see each other only periodically for intense bursts of pleasure. I’m surprised we don’t have any equivalent word for this subset of relationship bliss. It’s a handy one for modern life.
- Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.
Apparently, in 2004, this word won the award as the world’s most difficult to translate. Although at first, I thought it did have a clear phrase equivalent in English: It’s the “three strikes and you’re out” policy. But ilunga conveys a subtler concept, because the feelings are different with each “strike.” The word elegantly conveys the progression toward intolerance, and the different shades of emotion that we feel at each stop along the way.
Ilunga captures what I’ve described as the shade of gray complexity in marriages—Not abusive marriages, but marriages that involve infidelity, for example. We’ve got tolerance, within reason, and we’ve got gradations of tolerance, and for different reasons. And then, we have our limit. The English language to describe this state of limits and tolerance flattens out the complexity into black and white, or binary code. You put up with it, or you don’t. You “stick it out,” or not.
Ilunga restores the gray scale, where many of us at least occasionally find ourselves in relationships, trying to love imperfect people who’ve failed us and whom we ourselves have failed.
- La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.
When I came across this word I thought of “unrequited” love. It’s not quite the same, though. “Unrequited love” describes a relationship state, but not a state of mind. Unrequited love encompasses the lover who isn’t reciprocating, as well as the lover who desires. La douleur exquise gets at the emotional heartache, specifically, of being the one whose love is unreciprocated.
- Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love.
This is different than “love at first sight,” since it implies that you might have a sense of imminent love, somewhere down the road, without yet feeling it. The term captures the intimation of inevitable love in the future, rather than the instant attraction implied by love at first sight.
- Ya’aburnee(Arabic): “You bury me.” It’s a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
The online dictionary that lists this word calls it “morbid and beautiful.” It’s the “How Could I Live Without You?” slickly insincere cliché of dating, polished into a more earnest, poetic term.
- Forelsket: (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you’re first falling in love.
This is a wonderful term for that blissful state, when all your senses are acute for the beloved, the pins and needles thrill of the novelty. There’s a phrase in English for this, but it’s clunky. It’s “New Relationship Energy,” or NRE.
- Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”
It’s interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves her in the same place: She has a desire with no future. Saudade doesn’t distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time.
- Absent-minded - Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious, forgetful.
- Abusive - Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another.
- Addict - One who is addicted to a compulsive activity. Examples: gambling, drugs, sex.
- Aimless - Devoid of direction or purpose.
- Alcoholic - A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess.
- Anxious - Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.
- Arrogant - Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish.
- Audacious - Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient.
- Bad Habit - A revolting personal habit. Examples: picks nose, spits tobacco, drools, bad body odour.
- Bigmouth - A loud-mouthed or gossipy person.
- Bigot - One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
- Blunt - Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque.
- Bold - In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude; impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious.
- Callous - They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold.
- Childish - Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile.
- Complex - An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. (List specific complex.)
- Cruel - Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings.
- Cursed - A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune, placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers for it. Damned.
- Dependent - Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another.
- Deranged - Mentally decayed. Insane. Crazy. Mad. Psychotic.
- Dishonest – Given to or using fraud, cheating; deceitful, deceptive, crooked, underhanded.
- Disloyal - Lacking loyalty. Unfaithful, perfidious, traitorous, treasonable
- Disorder - An ailment that affects the function of mind or body. (List the disorders name if they have one.) See the Mental Disorder List.
- Disturbed - Showing some or a few signs or symptoms of mental or emotional illness. Confused, disordered, neurotic, troubled.
- Dubious - Fraught with uncertainty or doubt. Undecided, doubtful, unsure.
- Dyslexic - Affected by dyslexia, a learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words.
- Egotistical - Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance. Boastful, pompous.
- Envious - Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; covetous, jealous.
- Erratic - Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behaviour. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange.
- Fanatical - Fanatic outlook or behaviour especially as exhibited by excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions on some subject.
- Fickle – Erratic, changeable, unstable - especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.
- Fierce - Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid.
- Finicky - Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please; fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy, critical, picky, prissy, pernickety.
- Fixated - In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy and manifested in immature or neurotic behaviour that persists throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation.
- Flirt -To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behaviour intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease.
- Gluttonous - Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable.
- Gruff - Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly.
- Gullible - Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped.
- Hard - A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted.
- Hedonistic - Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
- Hoity-toity- Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behaviour, flighty.
- Humourless - The inability to find humour in things, and most certainly in themselves.
- Hypocritical - One who is always contradicting their own beliefs, actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite.
- Idealist - One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.
- Idiotic - Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless.
- Ignorant - Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge.
- Illiterate - Unable to read and write.
- Immature - Emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish.
- Impatient - Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant.
- Impious - Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers.
- Impish - Naughtily or annoyingly playful.
- Incompetent - Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty.
- Indecisive - Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure.
- Indifferent - The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless.
- Infamy - Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act that affects how others view them.
- Intolerant - Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions.
- Judgemental - Inclined to make and form judgements, especially moral or personal ones, based on one’s own opinions or impressions towards others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation, occupation, etc.
- Klutz - Clumsy. Blunderer.
- Lazy - Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.
- Lewd - Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious.
- Liar - Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly.
- Lustful - Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires.
- Masochist - The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
- Meddlesome - Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering.
- Meek - Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness.
- Megalomaniac - A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
- Naïve - Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgement.
- Nervous - Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy.
- Non-violent - Abstaining from the use of violence.
- Nosey - Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive.
- Obsessive - An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone.
- Oppressor - A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority.
- Overambitious - Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement.
- Overconfident - Excessively confident; presumptuous.
- Overemotional - Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person.
- Overprotective - To protect too much; coddle.
- Overzealous - Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea.
- Pacifist - Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases)
- Paranoid - Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others.
- Peevish - Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious, discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery.
- Perfectionist - A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.
- Pessimist - A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable or to take the gloomiest possible view.
- Pest - One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag.
- Phobic – They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. Examples: Dark, Spiders, Cats
- Practical - Level-headed, efficient, and unspeculative. No-nonsense.
- Predictable - Easily seen through and assessable, where almost anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or known them even for a short time.
- Proud - Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride.
- Rebellious - Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.
- Reckless - Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences.
- Remorseless - Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless.
- Rigorous - Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures.
- Sadist - The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
- Sadomasochist - Both sadist and masochist combined.
- Sarcastic - A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely.
- Sceptic - One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.
- Seducer - To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance.
- Selfish - Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.
- Self-Martyr - One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and always for a selfish cause or reason.
- Self-righteous - Piously sure of one’s own righteousness; moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious.
- Senile - Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age or disease.
- Shallow - Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious.
- Smart Ass - Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times, especially in arguments.
- Soft-hearted - Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need, and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing so.
- Solemn - Deeply earnest, serious, and sober.
- Spineless - Lacking courage. Cowardly, wimp, lily-livered, gutless.
- Spiteful - Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for resentment. Vengeful.
- Spoiled - Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self-care or money management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention.
- Squeamish - Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted.
- Stubborn - Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bull-headed. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.
- Superstitious - An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome.
- Tactless - Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others.
- Temperamental - Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional.
- Theatrical - Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘centre stage’.
- Timid -Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and violence.
- Tongue-tied - Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.
- Troublemaker - Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally.
- Unlucky - Marked by or causing misfortune; ill-fated. Destined for misfortune; doomed.
- Unpredictable - Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are so chaotic it’s impossible to know what they are going to do next.
- Untrustworthy - Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber.
- Vain - Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic, narcissistic.
- Weak-willed - Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed.
- Withdrawn - Not friendly or Sociable. Aloof.
- Zealous - A fanatic.
THE IMPOSSIBLE MEME | four quotes [2/4] » 7.01 - Asylum of the Daleks
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me
I breathed a sigh of relief. :)
IT’S A GUITARDIS
Here are 3 of the most common arguments I have heard for fighting against the addition of more sexuality labels. And why I think they are silly.
There are many more arguments. Always more arguments. Maybe I’ll get around to those, too.
[As always, let me know if you would like the original 20x24” files for awareness and education.]
i feel like this can also apply to pronouns.
Literally me every fucking day.
John Franklin Stephens, Special Olympics athlete
CLITERACY, 100 Natural Laws © Sophia Wallace 2012. Currently on view at Dumbo Art Center, details below.
CLITERACY, 100 Natural Laws is mixed media project that explores a paradox; the global obsession with sexualizing female bodies in a world that is illiterate when it comes to female sexuality. CLITERACY is a new way of talking about citizenship, sexuality, human rights, and bodies. The project reveals the – phallic as neutral – bias in science, law, philosophy, politics, mainstream and even feminist discussion, and the art world - which is so saturated with the female body as subject. Each of these sectors have denied and diminished the significance of the clitoris. Using text as form, CLITERACY explores the construction of female sexual bodies as passive vehicles of reception defined by lack. It confronts a false body of knowledge by scientists who have resisted the idea of anything unique about the female body and rather studied only what confirmed their assumption that women’s anatomy was the inverse of male anatomy, and that reproduction was worthy of study, while female sexuality was most certainly not. In the last ten years there have been tremendous scientific breakthroughs in the understanding of the clitoris. The clitoris is exponentially larger and more complex than commonly thought. What we think of as the clitoris, is only the tip of the iceberg. While this discovery is exciting, it is a salient allegory into the bigger problem of a female body, both cis and trans female, constructed by men, based on false information, the goal of control and a culture that defines femaleness as inferior and female sexual organs as taboo. It further questions the fetishization of reproductive sex– despite the fact that 70% of women do not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone– and the pathologization of non-reproductive sex and those who practice it, particularly queers and sex workers. CLITERACY builds upon my photographic practice and continues my exploration of how power shapes knowledge, often through use of the visual, for the purpose of social control. The project is monumental in scope and scale with 100 Natural Laws that span 10 by 13 feet and a 6 foot neon piece suspended from the ceiling. CLITERACY, 100 Natural Laws was completed during my Van Lier Fellowship in the Art Law Residency.
CLITERACY 100 Natural Laws Scenes a Faire Art & Law Residency Exhibition
On View: Oct. 5-21 at Dumbo Art Center
Artist Talk: Sophia Wallace Oct. 16, 7-8:30pm at Dumbo Art Center
111 Front Street, Suite 212, Brooklyn, NY 11201
Tel 718-694-0831 Email email@example.com
Gallery Hours: 12 - 6pm Wednesday - Saturday, 12 - 5PM Sunday
Info & Press Photos:
CLITERACY 100 Natural Laws
Sophia Wallace’s Studio: studio( )sophiawallace.com
The most important thing is who you are as a person, and how you treat others. You can be conventionally gorgeous and be a complete asshole, and I’ll want nothing to do with you. You can be conventionally homely and be a friendly, compassionate person, and I’ll want to spend time with you.